A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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