I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
