He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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