I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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