I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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