its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
