id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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