So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
