Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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