we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
