i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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