I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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