Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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