Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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