I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize