all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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