I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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