Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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