True but thats because hes a fetus.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
