would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
