i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
