carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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