And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
