Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
