Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
