I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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