Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
