she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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