I'm so fucking centered right now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
