Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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