real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
