Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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