you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
