the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
