I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit