I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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