Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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