Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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  (662): New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests? http://tfl.nu/8lkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2720) Bad night (1029)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.

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  (978): why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk. http://tfl.nu/9kux
  Replies (19) Good night (797) Bad night (2936)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up

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  (306): and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up http://tfl.nu/qck7
  Replies (77) Good night (1047) Bad night (7974)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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  (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1
  Replies (15) Good night (10625) Bad night (1251)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday

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  (312): Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday http://tfl.nu/xsly
  Replies (11) Good night (4045) Bad night (1176)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.

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  (312): If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops. http://tfl.nu/hm3g
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (2529)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the room spins SO much faster in panama

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  (513): the room spins SO much faster in panama http://tfl.nu/zlx7
  Replies (5) Good night (2569) Bad night (1003)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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  (717): I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?! http://tfl.nu/77lq
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (3066)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS

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  (516): Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS http://tfl.nu/0ql8
  Replies (3) Good night (1277) Bad night (814)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.

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  (580): I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing. http://tfl.nu/utec
  Replies (26) Good night (2056) Bad night (868)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day

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  (859): By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day http://tfl.nu/zi65
  Replies (2) Good night (1368) Bad night (633)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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  (920): We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like http://tfl.nu/fep0
  Replies (19) Good night (3517) Bad night (819)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.

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  (508): I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn. http://tfl.nu/62bv
  Replies (10) Good night (749) Bad night (1302)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (1031)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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  (803): So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops. http://tfl.nu/g5jw
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (813)

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