Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.