Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize
