I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
