I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
