It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
