Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
