just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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