I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My dick has a subreddit
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
