last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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