I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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