Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
