i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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