Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
