I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
