if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
