Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
