Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
high people should be assigned attendants
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
