im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
