yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize