I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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