Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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