I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
