I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
