I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I could make wine with my vomit
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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