you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
