are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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