He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
