Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize