is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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