How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
